Just being me was always enough. I just didn’t know it.
Yesterday, I came across a fb post by Enterprising Heart, Life Messenger, Alison Grimley. It struck me as a conversation we need to have. So many of us love to give back to others in any way possible and we all have different reasons for doing it. It can become a way of life. For some it can fill our souls and/or become excitingly addictive. We can devote a lot of our time, resources and compassion into our ‘giving’ practices. However, some give so much that it negatively affects their bank accounts, emotional coping and personal/professional relationships with others.
It is good to know how much is enough and how much is too much…it’s not healthy to give to the point that we ourselves struggle and find ourselves in need…but that’s a hard lesson to learn. I know many people who give back greatly to community and often times they are exhausted, depleted, criticized, scrutinized and miss out on family events due to the time spent ‘making a difference.’
Alison wrote about what she has learned on this topic….I thank her for giving me permission to share it here.
“I have learned this hard lesson over the years. You really CAN give too much of yourself. I was reminded of this again yesterday as I was forced to revisit a situation where I had given more than I had & left myself struggling. It was something I did a lot – I would give time, money & emotional investment that I just didn’t have to give and it ended up leaving me in need. It was a great lesson for me to learn – the past had me believing that the only way others would love me was if I gave like that. It isn’t true! Just being me was always enough. I just didn’t know it. To those who have opened my eyes to this – THANK YOU! and remember YOU ARE ENOUGH just as you are!”
What motivates you to give back and make a difference?
How do you know when you are giving too much of yourself?
Let us know in the comments!
Someone told me recently: “you must realize that you’re a martyr”. I was taken aback. What exactly did that mean? I, as I do, researched the word ‘martyr’ and and came across something called ‘martyr syndrome’. The definition is: a person with martyr syndrome puts everyone else’s needs above his or her own so that he or she can suffer for the sake of others and thus give his or her life meaning. I spent the next week sorting through this information and trying to recollect where and when I could possibly have been like this. I came to the conclusion that this didn’t even come close to describing me. I do things for others because it makes me happy to see them happy and yes I have extended myself on occasion and wished I hadn’t taken on the task but in the end who cares about a little frustration and tiredness when what you’ve done brings great pleasure to someone else. The person who accused me of this was unwilling to discuss this afterwards and I understand that the comment had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his state of mind, at that moment.
I came across this affirmation last week and I’ve put it on my kitchen blackboard as a daily reminder. “I have a great love and nurturing instincts towards myself and others. I understand that by adding value to other peoples’ lives, I automatically add value to my own life”. This makes me enormously happy!
Wow! What a message Julie! Thank you for sharing! I love that..’I understand that by adding value to other people’s lives, I automatically add value to my own life.’Looks like yet another life message photo session is on your horizon! 🙂